the eleventh of october

When I finally earned a decent paycheck – seven bucks an hour, used bookstore clerk, Seattle, 1996 – I started buying my mother flowers on my birthday. Once cheap celebratory sheet cake grew tired and presents could only disappoint – cue the Fugazi, the Cobain – I decided October 11th was about her, not me. […]

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Visiting

Mine started somewhere in the inbetween of December and January, but I don’t have a name for it yet. Science calls it a blepharospasm. The Chinese say it’s a sign of coming good fortune. A flicking one morning, a tugging that afternoon, the pulling took root swiftly. I envisioned little worker mites trotting across the […]

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The Bell

I’m in a waiting room at an oncology clinic. Fluorescents in the drop ceiling hover, unscrewed by someone some time before. Tacky nicotine-tinted sconces push a dull haze on the fabrics of the room, patterns just to the right of paisley, all murky and mustard. The room is full and we all wait together, here, […]

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Peanuts in My Coke

1981. Miss W loved compliance and I loved to comply. She taught me spelling, grammar, how to diagram sentences. Timeliness, structure, order. My blond-haired feyness a perfect complement to her brawny thickness. She was an unmarried woman over thirty, which did not go unnoticed in a Christian school environment. Women like Miss W were received […]

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This Scourge #2

Summer 2017. I take out the blanket and you don’t notice. I shuffle through a cluttered house, arranging, rearranging, setting a scene, imagining how it’ll be, wondering what you know, where you go when you come in and out. You, in the corner, with your hunger sounds and weak purr and soft weirdness. With your […]

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Some Boy and The Revolution

I didn’t play with toys as a child. I listened to and obsessed over music. Got my first record player when I was four. Prince and The Revolution –  Wendy and Lisa and Bobby Z and Brown Mark and Dr. Fink – they were my Justice League. They had all the style and attitude and swagger I lacked. I studied every hairflip, […]

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